So tomorrow night is the Emma talent show. The Second (Semi, Sorta) Annual Emma Talent Show. In honor of this amazing event, I’m going to be breaking out my guitar and playing a couple of tunes. I’m probably going to do an original and then maybe a cover song, just for kicks.

This used to be no big deal at all, but I literally haven’t played guitar since last August, and I haven’t played a show in a small venue in far longer. I played for maybe half an hour tonight and my fingers are bruised. I remember when I used to play guitar pretty much all day long and never think twice about it.

I still don’t get nervous before shows. I never had much problem getting onstage, and after doing it for so long, I really just don’t think about it. But playing tonight and realizing how long it had truly been since I played was a little sad. After all, I did this for a (meager) living at one point. I even had a myspace!

It’s strange that writing music was such a huge part of my life for so long, and yet these days I don’t even miss it. I don’t know why that is, I think that it’s mostly about growing up and not feeling the need to share my every thought with the world (the same reason I quit blogging). Maybe it’s realizing that there are tons of other people already saying the same things out there, and many of them are doing it better. Maybe it’s just that my life is so much better these days, so I don’t want to stare at blank sheets of paper for hours at a time.

Either way, I enjoy playing when I do it now, and that makes me think I should do it more often. But I don’t ever think I’ll be compelled to write again like I used to. And that doesn’t bother me at all.